Can Death Heal A Relationship?

Often, when a loved-one dies, we refer to having “lost” them. We feel the absence of their physical person as a kind of loss. But, what if that loss from our outer life can translate into a gain for our inner life? What if our loved-one’s departure opens a door into another stage in our relationship that actually boosts our spiritual and psychological well-being? In this story, Kim tells of just such a gain.

Mom – Home in Heaven and in My Heart

By Kim Ward

My mom died in a nursing home from a heart attack and complications of Alzheimer’s Disease on October 11, 2020, at 8:45 P.M.  She had chosen that home six years earlier because she wanted to be with my severely disabled brother Scott, who already resided there.  

When Covid-19 became a significant problem at nursing homes in Ontario, Canada, my sister Shannon and I would have “window visits” with Mom, where we would stand outside and wave to her while talking on cell phones with her nurse, who stood beside her. My mom had years before lost her ability to speak as well as her ability to recognize who we were. Nevertheless, my sister and I visited her as often as we could.

On Friday, October 9, the nursing home called early in the morning to tell us that Mom had gone into a coma and we should come as quickly as we could. Now, with Mom’s death imminent, my sister and I, or my husband Steve and I, could sit by her bedside as long as we were “gowned up’’ and wearing masks and gloves.  

She lay back down, took three breaths and passed away. Steve and I just looked at each other and felt the room filled with love.

The night she died, Steve and I were there. She had not moved or been responsive in any way to anything we said or did. Then I noticed that my brother Scott, who had passed on three years before, was in the room with us. Previously, I had heard that those closest to the dying individual could come and accompany them to Heaven. I saw Scott as a little blue globe hovering near the ceiling in a corner of her room, and I knew it was him. He’d come to take Mom to Heaven.

Scott had been Mom’s favorite. He was her first born and had been medically challenged through most of his life. At birth, Scott had severely crossed eyes and had to have several surgeries to correct that problem. At age eight, he was diagnosed with severe Type One Diabetes and was so ill that he was not expected to live. Later as a young man, he developed Multiple Sclerosis. Mom had always dedicated herself to Scott and he was closest to her. So, it made sense that he would be the one to accompany her to heaven.

As soon as I saw Scott as the blue globe I said, “Mom, Scott is here. He’s waiting to take you to Heaven.” Immediately, Mom came out of her coma and sat up in bed, her eyes wide open with a huge smile on her face. Then, there was just calm. She lay back down, took three breaths and passed away. Steve and I just looked at each other and felt the room filled with love.

I was not overwhelmingly sad when Mom died because her Alzheimer’s meant that we had been saying goodbye to her for a long time. However, it took a few weeks after her death for me to forgive her for having so little time for me throughout my life. I had felt animosity towards Mom for not being there as a nurturing, protecting, loving mother. Now all that animosity is gone.

It happened this way: A friend told me that, often when people have a Near-Death experiences, they meet with a “Love Being” or a ”Being of Light” and are given a review of their lives. Well, perhaps my Mom had that experience at some point, because she seems more “enlightened” now when we meet. She comes to me often, and we communicate telepathically. She has apologized profusely for not giving me the parenting, love, and nurturing that every child needs. She knows she should have better protected me to prevent me from being repeatedly sexually abused by men.

Mom has changed since passing over, and I have changed too.

Mom has changed since passing over, and I have changed too. I have more appreciation of the various factors that kept Mom from having quality time with me. She had four children, two of whom had significant health needs; and, she had a husband who had paranoid schizophrenia, was a severe alcoholic and stayed in the basement all the time. Mom was responsible for the family finances as well as for care of our home and all of us children.

I now know that Mom had always loved me, but dealing with all she had to deal with, she simply had no time or energy for me. Now our relationship is one of all-encompassing acceptance, forgiveness and abiding love. Everything I have been through is worth the love I now feel. Death didn’t take Mom away from me. It gave her back to me.

You might ask how I am able to have this loving and healing contact with my Mom after her death. My answer would be that I know my Mom is alive in Heaven. Only her physical body has died. With an open, willing, and loving heart, I ask my Mom to come to be with me. Then she does.

The Meaning of Forever Project continues to accept stories of comforting experiences with loved ones who have passed on, and of near-death experiences that have helped to show the continuation of life beyond the physical body. You can email your story to us and you can find more about our project on our Facebook page, and our Meaning of Forever Website.

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